The title of this post is misleading: Divorce is difficult and painful for everyone involved, especially kids. I’ve never known anyone to have a “good” divorce, in that way you have a good meal or good sex—even when divorce was the right thing to do for everyone, including the kids.

Divorce is horrible. It is the hardest, most painful thing I’ve ever done. And I had a “good” divorce.

Still, divorce is often better for kids than a deeply flawed marriage, and some divorces are better than others. Divorce can be done well, in a mature way that puts the kids’ needs first. There is a lot of research examining what makes divorce more beneficial—or at least less damaging—for kids.

Twenty percent of kids are damaged by divorce. Read this post from my Greater Good blog and find out how to make kids part of the other 80 percent.