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Author: Christine Carter

by Christine Carter

Happiness Tip: Spend Some Time Alone

Are we always better together?

Last week’s tip emphasized the importance of our social connections. But alone-time is just as important for our happiness and well-being, and it is something that parents and couples tend to get less of.

Spending time alone can foster inner-peace and mindfulness; and it can also help us be more independent. It isn’t that dependence is always a problem, but sometimes when dependence adds up to a lack of autonomy, it can actually increase our stress. Stress is, of course, bad for our health and happiness.

Take Action: This week, make a date with yourself and actually put it on your calendar. What do you want to do by yourself? What would bring you peace or a greater sense of autonomy? Inspire others by leaving a comment here.

by Christine Carter

Is Your Kid Mean?

We all want to protect our children from bullying. Most parents, I imagine, would be horrified to hear that their children are being picked on at school, and equally horrified to hear that they are bullies themselves. (Right now my clairvoyance tells me that you are thinking that you have a really nice kid, certainly not one that is a bully. This is because you are a nice person.)

But can bad kids ever happen to nice parents? Or rather, do parents who value kindness and compassion ever raise mean kids? Read this post from my Greater Good blog and find out.

by Christine Carter
cultivate-your-support-network-christine-carter

Happiness Tip: Cultivate Your Support Network

As I write this, I’m stranded by the side of the road in a car that won’t start, with two hungry and irritable children.

It is well past dinnertime, on a school night, and it will be another 10 minutes before help arrives.

Thank goodness help is about to arrive! My mother, who lives 35 minutes away during rush hour, jumped in the car the moment she got my distress call. She will take the kids to dinner nearby while I continue to the wait for the tow truck. And my father, who wouldn’t miss dinner with his granddaughters given the unexpected opportunity (though we ate with him last night) will wait for the tow truck with me and then drive me to the restaurant.

I say this all of the time, but if we’ve learned anything in the last 100 years about the science of happiness, it is that happiness is best predicted by the breadth and the depth of our connections to other people. Never is that more true than when things go awry, it seems to me now.

Things go wrong. Life is full of difficulty. Cars break down, and we need help. Although part of me would really like to not have to call my parents for help so frequently — dependence doesn’t always feel good in our independence oriented culture — I know that I’m so, so lucky to have such a strong support network.

I also know that it is not entirely chance that my support network is strong: it is something that I work to nurture. For my happiness, and the happiness of my children.

Take Action: Today, do something to nurture the people in your support network. What can you do to strengthen your ties to the people around you? Invite someone to dinner (or drop off a needed meal), jump start your neighbor’s car, call someone who needs a shoulder to cry on.

Join the Discussion: What will you do to strengthen your connections with others? Leave a comment below to inspire others.

by Christine Carter

March Podcasts: Happiness Matters

Here is a list of Happiness Matters Podcasts you may have missed in March:

Is Your Spouse Right for You?
In this podcast, Rona and I discuss the hard work of BEING the right partner, rather than always trying to FIND the right partner.

Does Your Teen Like Her Body?
Although there are lots of powerful, and often pernicious, forces at work in influencing our how our kids feel about food and their bodies, parents can be a very positive force in this arena. Rona and I discuss food, vulnerability, and embracing how our bodies change over the life span.

How Clean Is Your House?
Ways to think about housekeeping when you have kids in the house—so that it doesn’t drive you nuts, make you feel guilty, or consume too much time.

Can A Single Parent Raise Happy Kids?
Rona and I talk about our experiences being single parents: the difficulty, the guilt, and yes, the silver lining.

Check out my podcast Happiness Matters with Rona Renner either here on the Greater Good website, or here on iTunes. Happy listening!