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Author: Christine Carter

Back by Popular Demand! Free Live Coaching

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YOU’RE INVITED! 

What: A FREE live Q&A about HOW TO MAKE THE RIGHT RESOLUTIONS
When: Thursday, January 14 at 12:00 PM PST
RSVP: Register here!

I’ll be the first to admit that my New Year’s Resolutions used to be a disaster. Seriously, I would spend the week before New Year’s crafting a perfectly ambitious new self (on paper) only to have given up at this point in January. I’ll teach you how to set goals that are realistic and achievable, and that will stick with you over the long-term. Start the New Year from a position of strength! I’ll answer the question you’ve posted on this Facebook page, and I’ll give loads of examples of how to make a resolution that will stick.

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Note: This one-hour webinar supports a 12-week coaching program, 90 Days to a New Habit (that Sticks!). If you haven’t already signed up for that email, text, and workbook based coaching program, it’s not too late to start, and it is also FREE. Enroll in the free 90-Day coaching program here.

Tuesday Tip: Make a “NOT-To-Do” list

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You have a to-do list. But do you have a not-to-do list?

I just listened to a fantastic conversation between Ron Friedman and Peter Bregman that had some surprising suggestions for managing our time better in 2016. (You can listen to it, too, here — it goes live at 2:00 PM EST today, part of a Peak Work Performance Summit that is free until the 15th). One of Bregman’s tips was to create a “not-to-do list.” Why?

According to Bregman, our success and happiness are based as much on what we choose NOT to do as what we choose to do. I wholeheartedly agree. What things in your life keep you from doing other things that you value more? Which of your behaviors tend to thwart your goals?

When we aren’t clear about what we want to do and what we don’t want to do, then the things we don’t want to do often end up distracting us from our higher priorities. For example, I want to spend more time hanging out with my kids after dinner and after they finish their homework. Ideally, I’ll spend 20 minutes with each of them one-on-one. But instead, I often get pulled into my email or back into my work, and poof! Just like that, the time is gone, and the opportunity missed. (Now that my daughter Fiona is away at school, I’m painfully aware of how fleeting and precious that time is.)

I’ve used Bregman’s “6 box” method to establish my priorities and categorize my to-do list for a while now. I wrote about this in The Sweet Spot, and you can learn more about it in his interview. But now in addition to categorizing my to-do items by each of my priorities–and then scheduling my time accordingly–I’m adding something. To each priority, I’m adding a not-to-do list. So under the priority labeled “Nurture my family and close relationships,” I’ve written: Don’t go back to work after dinner if the kids are at home.

By being explicit about what I’m NOT going to do–by actually writing these things down–I’m increasing the odds that I’ll accomplish my goals this year, and increasing the chances that I’ll spend my time on the things that matter most to me.

Photo by Jack.Schultz

Lafayette Library Science Cafe

Please join me at a fundraising event in support of The Lafayette Library and Learning Center on January 13 ,2016 from 7:00 to 8:30 pm.

0b238b6d-5563-448f-b5d7-c9b0940096b7Science Cafe: How to Achieve More by Doing Less
Presenting the latest research on productivity and elite performance, Christine Carter, PhD, demonstrates a sweet paradox: by doing less we can actually accomplish more. Using surprising science and lively anecdotal evidence, Carter offers a practical game plan for mitigating stress by working with our brain’s innate hardwiring to increase happiness, balance and ultimately, success.

When: Wednesday, January 13, 2016, from 7:00 to 8:30 pm
Where:Lafayette Library and Learning Center, Community Hall
RSVP: Register here.

Registration required.
Tickets: $10 payable at the door
$5 Foundation donor tickets are available in advance by calling (925) 283-6513 x103

 

 

Focus | Gratitude Revealed

Do you have a lot of options? This is often a quick ticket to anxiety. Filmmaker Louie Schwartzberg explains how guiding your focus back to the present moment can help create clarity and gratitude.

If you enjoyed this, check out filmmaker Louie Schwartzberg’s Gratitude Revealed series — 16 film shorts that explore what gratitude is. Over the next few months, we’ll highlight one film a week, illustrating why gratitude is important and what we can all do to live more gracious lives.

You’re invited to my FREE live Q&A – TODAY!

YOU’RE INVITED! 
New Year’s Resolutions 101

What: A FREE live Q&A about HOW TO MAKE THE RIGHT RESOLUTIONS
When: TODAY!! January 6 at 2:30 PM PST /5:30 PM EST
RSVP: Register here!

I’ll teach you how to set goals that are realistic and achievable, and that will stick with you over the long-term. Start the New Year from a position of strength! I’ll answer the question you’ve posted on this Facebook page, and I’ll give loads of examples of how to make a resolution that will stick.

btn-registernow.jpg

Note: This one-hour webinar supports a 12-week coaching program, 90 Days to a New Habit (that Sticks!). If you haven’t already signed up for that email, text, and workbook based coaching program, it’s not too late to start, and it is also FREE. Enroll in the free 90-Day coaching program here.

Free live Q&A — Set the Right Resolution this Year!

YOU’RE INVITED! 
New Year’s Resolutions 101

What: A FREE live Q&A about HOW TO MAKE THE RIGHT RESOLUTIONS
When: TOMORROW, January 6 at 2:30 PM PST /5:30 PM EST
RSVP: Register here!

I’ll teach you how to set goals that are realistic and achievable, and that will stick with you over the long-term. Start the New Year from a position of strength! I’ll answer the question you’ve posted on this Facebook page, and I’ll give loads of examples of how to make a resolution that will stick.

btn-registernow.jpg

Note: This one-hour webinar supports a 12-week coaching program, 90 Days to a New Habit (that Sticks!). If you haven’t already signed up for that email, text, and workbook based coaching program, it’s not too late to start, and it is also FREE. Enroll in the free 90-Day coaching program here.

Don’t Make the Same Darn Resolution Year After Year

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Now that the holidays are behind us, and our daily routines are settling back into place, I’m ready to take this fresh start that the New Year offers us. I’m ready to intentionally make a resolution that I know I can keep.

Are you?

Before you try to change yourself in any way, take stock. How many resolutions did you make LAST year that you were able to keep in 2015? Looking back, what goals did you reach? What resolutions did you make last week for 2016 that you’ve made before, in years past? (How many years in a row is this now?)

Sometimes we don’t keep our resolutions because our priorities shift, and that’s a good thing. But more often, we don’t keep them because life takes over. Habits can feel too hard to create, and by mid-January, our willpower starts to wane.

This year, don’t make resolutions that depend on willpower. In fact, will you please let me help you make your resolutions this year? It doesn’t have to be so hard: I promise!

Register now for my newly relaunched habit coaching program. It’s FREE. There is no catch; I love my job and my readers and I really want you to be successful this year. I want to help you set a resolution you can keep. I can give you the know-how you need to achieve your goals this year. No willpower needed!

This program is a completely revised version of my most popular webinar, Cracking the Habit Code. 90 Days to a New Habit also includes a free workbook and access to a live online Q&A (TOMORROW!) to give you even more guidance and structure.

Here’s how I want you to feel at the end of my 90 day program: Successful. Happy. Productive. Like you can live your life intentionally, and that you can spend your time and energy on the things that matter most to you.

Enroll in the free 90-day coaching program

Register for the live 60-minute Q&A TOMORROW at 2:30 PM PST

Photo by Thomas Hawk

Eight More Ways to Say No

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“I know I should say ‘no’ more,” everyone seems to be telling me. “But how? It’s so hard.” Saying no can be hard. Here are eight more strategies to make it a little easier.

  1. Call it as you see it: “I’m so sorry, but I’m not able to do more than my share this week.”
  2. Reference your crystal ball: “Right now, in this moment, I’d like to go to that party. But I know that I will regret it if I do.”
  3. Practice your reason for saying no before you need it: “I wish I could, but I can’t take on any more responsibilities before the end of the year.”
  4. Say no clearly, and repeat yourself using the same words, if necessary: “I’m so sorry that you are struggling right now, and I wish I could help. But I can’t cover for you this time. I really do wish I could help, but I can’t.”
  5. Fight fire with fire: Take advantage of the “curse of familiarity” by finding an advocate who is close to the person asking you for a favor—and let them say no for you.
  6. Offer a concrete excuse: “I promised my daughter I’d take her to a play that night.”
  7. Offer an alternative: “I have other plans tonight, but I could help you this weekend if you need it.”
  8. Take time to consider: “Thanks for the opportunity. I’ll look at the time frame and get back to you.”

Interested in the research behind these strategies? Check out my Huffington Post blog on this topic here (will add link later). Want even more suggestions for how to say no? See “21 Ways to Give Good No.”

Photo by Lars Plougmann