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Author: Christine Carter

Start your own meditation practice

The benefits of meditation are tremendous. In a world that is “on” 24/7, few of us get much regular rest. We go go go — perhaps getting a lot of work done, or cramming loads of activity into the day — while ignoring our body’s natural rhythms and need for post-sprint recovery. The result is that many of us are more stressed out, anxious, and depressed than previous generations.

A terrific antidote (that we all have with us all the time) is simple meditation. Scores of studies have shown the benefits of meditation to be broad and profound: meditation lowers our stress and anxiety, helps us focus, and, ironically, makes us more productive. Meditation even makes us healthier! After meditating daily for eight weeks, research subjects were 76% less likely than a non-meditating control group to miss work due to illness, and if they did get a cold or a flu, it lasted only five days on average, whereas the control group illnesses lasted an average of eight.

Here’s how: Sit in a comfortable position, spine straight and hands relaxed in your lap. Close your eyes, and turn your attention to your breath. Breathe naturally, controlling your attention, not your breath. When your mind wanders (it will) gently bring your attention back to noticing your breath. Try to meditate for 10-20 minutes before you go back to the hustle and bustle of the day, to really give yourself a break.

(If you are new to meditation, you can also start with just a minute or so and build up to 20 minutes. Or, check out some of these free guided meditations here; there are many different ways to meditate. I particularly like loving-kindness meditations if you want to get fancy.)

Photo courtesy of Anton Petukhov

How to remain sane — and even productive — over the summer

Morning Routine

Researchers believe that the brains in both humans and animals evolved to feel calmed by repetitive behavior, and that our daily rituals and habits are a primary way to manage stress. Ever notice that you always drive to work the same way, even though there are dozens of other routes? Or that you always put deodorant on right after you brush your hair? Each of us has hundreds of little habits that carry us through the day. The fast-paced world we live in can feel quite unpredictable, but our daily rituals can help us feel more in control, often without us ever realizing it.

But then here we are…in the middle of the summer. I don’t know about you, but my routines are falling apart. I found this old conversation between me and my daughter from the archives:

Me: Uh, let’s see. This week is Girl Scout Camp. So you need to pack a lunch. And a swim suit. And a towel. Oh wait, you have a BBQ today, so no lunch but you do need to bring—oh, darn. We’re supposed to bring dessert. How fast can we make Rice Krispie treats?

Fiona: Can’t we just buy something on the way? What time does camp start?

Me: I think 9:30. But I have a meeting at 9:00. I might drop you off early.

Fiona: I think that’s against the rules. They gave us a big rule book, you know. Who’s driving me home?

Me: Uh. Hmmm. I’ll check the schedule and call Debbie so she can text her daughter, who’ll tell you.

Fiona: Cell phones aren’t allowed at Girl Scout Camp.

Me: Oh yeah. That’s why we love it.

There is so much to love about summer, but let’s be real: The lack of routine can be a little hellish. Which makes the importance of habit for keeping us sane even more salient over the summer.

Over the years, as I’ve sought to make my summers less chaotic and more productive, I’ve learned that summer is the perfect time to practice getting into good habits and routines. Creating habits is a skill, just like learning a new sport, and when we practice, we get better.

Here are eight research-based steps for creating new routines this summer:

1. Contemplate a change you’d like to make in your life. What do you need to be healthier and happier? For example, one of my clients wants more energy to accomplish her goals; to feel better she’ll need to get more sleep, which affects our intellectual ability, our physical health, and our emotions. Habits like sleep, exercise, or meditation—anything that creates a platform for more good habits—are what Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, calls a “keystone habit.” Which of your routines has the power to change your mood or outlook on life?

2. Do your homework. We know that people go through stages when they are making changes, and before we spring into action, we need to prepare. So if more sleep is your goal, maybe you need to read up on what it takes to get a better night’s rest or buy a new pillow.

Caution: Research shows that you will probably feel tempted to stop here, after you’ve bought the book and the pillow. Feel good about getting started, but please don’t stop before you’ve actually begun.

3. Make your goal public or find a friend to hold you accountable. This is where that post-July 4th FAQ (“What are you doing this summer?”) comes in handy. Telling lots of folks what we are shooting for can dramatically increase the odds we’ll actually do it. For starters, comment here to let us know what habit you’d like to get in this summer.

4. Make a list. Write down all of the small changes you’ll need to make in order to reach your goal. For example, if you are trying to get more sleep, you might want to stop drinking coffee after 11:00 am, turn off the computer at 9:00 pm, get the kids to do their own laundry so you don’t have to do it after-hours, get in bed by 10:00 pm, read a book instead of watching TV in bed, etc.

5. Pick a super-easy first step. Look at your list: What is the easiest thing on it? Now, what one tiny step can you take toward that already-small thing? Maybe it would be easy for you to go to bed 10 minutes early tonight, or to replace your afternoon coffee with decaf. Do the thing that is easiest and most appealing to you.

6. Anchor that first step within an existing routine. In other words, add it to something you already do habitually. The trick is to work with the same cue that triggers the existing habit. You already are in the habit of putting toothpaste on your toothbrush at night; if you want to start flossing, your super-easy-first-step could be to get the floss out with your toothpaste.

7. Visualize success. Spend a few minutes every morning thinking about your goal. What will prevent you from succeeding? What exactly will you do when you face the obstacle you imagine? Now, revel in how you will feel when you do succeed. Soak up those warm feelings.

8. Celebrate each time you do this ridiculously easy thing every day for a week. Got into bed 10 minutes early tonight? WHOO-HOO! Have a little party in your mind. (I learned this, and a lot more, from Stanford’s BJ Fogg. I cannot recommend his free 3 Tiny Habits program highly enough.)

When you’ve accomplished one small thing, choose an equally-unambitious next step. You are more likely reach your goal by taking a series of teensy steps than if you try to do it all at once.

The key to successfully changing your life in a summer? Practice. Practice creating new habits by mastering one ridiculously easy behavior at a time, slowly making them automatic.

Here is the really good news: Your good habits are contagious, highly likely to spread to your friends, your family, and especially your children. So consider that good night’s sleep a contribution to the greater good.

Photo by Brendan Scherer

Happiness tip - Just Eat - Christine Carter

Happiness Tip: Just Eat

I know, I know — you’re thinking this happiness tip is pretty bogus. I mean, who doesn’t feel happier when they eat? Am I really advocating food-as-joy?

Maybe: It’s all in how food is consumed. How often do you eat breakfast standing up or in the car? Do you eat lunch in front of your computer, at your desk, or buried behind a book? How often do you just eat, without also doing something else?

In the wild (or, say, kindergarten), we mammals naturally take breaks to refuel with a snack or a meal. Don’t squander this natural rest period by wolfing down your lunch while you read your email, or by sipping a latte while driving to work and calling that breakfast. Practice eating mindfully, paying attention to your food and the people you are with. Notice what you are eating and how quickly or slowly. Breathe. Relax. You will feel more calm and content.

Take Action: If you rarely just eat without also doing something else, start small. Perhaps commit to savoring your food for the first 5 bites, or maybe 5 minutes of every meal. Or to eating one lunch a week by yourself, not at your desk, with no distractions.

Join the Discussion: When is it most difficult for you to stop multi-tasking during meals? What techniques work for you? For example, I have a hard time sitting down during breakfast with my kids — I’m always tempted to rush around helping them make their lunches while I drink a smoothie standing up. I’ve solved this by allowing 15 minutes longer than I really need, so that there is nothing for me to do but sit down and have breakfast with my family.

Photo courtesy of Gexydaf.

inspirational-postcards-christine-carter

Free Inspirational Postcards

Remember how fun it used to be to receive a handwritten note?

My daughters are away at camp right now, so we’re sending and receiving more mail than usual. People seem to love posting my weekly “Thursday Thoughts” online, so we made them into inspirational postcards so that we can all “post” hardcopies now, too!  I thought you, like me, might enjoy sharing them with your traveling friends and family this summer.

Click on the button below to save this image. Then, download and print on two-sided cardstock paper to create your postcards.

postcard_front[button href=”https://www.christinecarter.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/christinecarter_thursdayThoughts_downloadable1.pdf” primary=”false” centered=”true” newwindow=”true”]Click here to download![/button]
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