When was the last time someone else’s happiness became your own?

Last weekend I was at a fundraiser where several musicians were playing live. I was close enough to the guitar player, Jack, to be able to watch his expressions while I listened to him play. As I watched, I noticed myself grinning right along with Jack. He was totally in the moment, happiness flowing through him and his instrument, sheer bliss radiating from his face.

I realized that as I paid attention to Jack’s joy, my own emotions were mirroring his: I was feeling an expansive happiness. This is a phenomena my mentor James Baraz calls “vicarious joy,” and it is something that is easy to cultivate in our everyday lives.

Take Action: Watch for other people’s positive emotions. Who around you is feeling deep gratitude, or giddy happiness, or profound compassion? Let yourself “catch” their emotions, and take in the good feelings that occur in your own body as a result.  Even the joy of a dog can be contagious; my children frequently fall to the ground giggling as they watch our friends’ labrador play in the park.

Join the discussion: What is your favorite source of vicarious joy?  Share in the comments!

Starting in 6th grade — about the time when I became painfully self-conscious, and really didn’t want my mother’s advice — my mom started to nag me incessantly about sitting and standing up straight. She got my pediatrician to talk to me about it, and she even created a code word for us that meant, “for god’s sake, improve your posture!” so she could remind me in public, theoretically to avoid embarrassment.

Oh, how I wish I’d listened to my mother. Turns out I probably would have been happier and more confident in middle school if I’d tried harder to sit up straight. Research shows that in adults, a straight spine increases confidence, while “a slumped posture leads to more helpless behaviors,” writes Emma Seppala from the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education (CCARE) at Stanford. Hunching or slouching makes research subjects feel more stressed, and makes them more likely to give up in the face of challenge.

Take Action: Set an alarm or a timer that will remind you to stand or sit up straight once an hour. BONUS benefit: Research subjects who make an effort to improve their posture ALSO tend to improve other areas of their lives — for example, they tend to watch less TV and eat less junk food!