“How are you?” A good friend asks at lunch. You haven’t seen her for a month or so. You feel guilty that you’ve been out of touch; you tell her all the reasons that you’ve been so, so busy.

She reassures you with 10 billion reasons that she, also, has been too busy to meet earlier or to return your calls promptly. Your detailed lists of your busy busy busy lives leave you both feeling overwhelmed.

Sound familiar?

Our most common greeting from loved ones and casual acquaintances alike (“How are you doing?”) doesn’t really work for us, or our happiness, when the answer generates feelings of overwhelm.

It’s time to change this common little dialog. What if, instead of recounting all that is happening in your life, you use “How are you?” as a prompt to think about something you are grateful for? Even if you don’t feel too busy, taking a moment for gratitude is likely to give you a happiness boost.

Take Action: The next time someone asks you how you are doing, pause for a moment and reflect on something that you a grateful for. Then tell them about that. Perhaps you are grateful for the March sunshine (or needed rain), or that your little girl lost her tooth last night, or that you’ve been reading a particularly fabulous new novel.

Join the Discussion: What other ways can you change this common dialog? Inspire others by leaving a comment.

Multitasking talent is nothing to brag about.

If we just focused on one task at a time, we’d actually be more productive in the long run, and we’d be less exhausted at the end of the day. This is because multitasking exhausts more energy and time than single-tasking does. Take it from productivity experts Tony Schwartz and Catherine McCarthy:

Distractions are costly: A temporary shift in attention from one task to another — stopping to answer an email or take a phone call, for instance — increased the amount of time necessary to finish the primary task by as much as 25 percent, a phenomenon known as “switching time.”

It is often harder for me to single-task than it is to multi-task. I have to totally remove all distractions to single-task: I do my best writing at a desk I’ve set up in a large closet that doesn’t get phone reception, with my email disabled. I group my daily tasks into two categories: “Think Work” and “Action Items.” Then I block off time on my calendar for both things. I do my Think Work at the closet desk totally uninterrupted, setting a timer so that I take a break every 60-90 minutes.

My Action Items take less focus, but I still tackle them one at a time in sequence — not parallel. Unless I’m working my way through my email, my email application is closed. I answer the phone only for scheduled calls. I leave my iPhone in do-not-disturb mode (so that I can see if my kids’ school is calling, but that’s about it) and reply to texts when I’m taking a break. Having these “rules” for myself has dramatically increased my productivity.

Take Action: If you are a chronic multi-tasker, make a plan for how you can focus more and multitask less. Do you need to remove distractions? Group similar activities?

Join the Discussion: What works best for you? Inspire others by leaving a comment.