We say [‘I’m SO BUSY’] to one another with no small degree of pride, as if our exhaustion were a trophy, our ability to withstand stress a real mark of character. The busier we are, the more important we seem to ourselves and, we imagine, to others.”–Wayne Muller
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This Week’s Practice
Stop “Shoulding” on Yourself
We can’t do our best raising our children without being happy, and we can’t be happy if we are too busy to enjoy life. So this week our practice is to focus on cutting back and saying no.
(1) First, take notice:
- What types of activities routinely make you feel “crazybusy”?
- What types of things are you doing out of obligation or routine, that you feel you should do, but that don’t bring you (or your kids) joy?
- What do you do because you are afraid of missing out?
- What “extras” do you have in your life that you wouldn’t miss if you took them out?
(2) Get out your axe. Start systematically pulling things off your calendar.
(3) Plan for the future.
- Make rules for yourself so you don’t end up back where you started, e.g., no email after 9:00 pm.
- Get support from your friends, your own parents, your spouse, your Raising Happiness buddy.
- Script and practice saying no.
- Clear roadblocks. Is there someone in your life whose expectations might make your life more difficult? Who is imposing “should dos”? Talk with them directly about your happiness and the happiness of your children. Then listen to yourself, not them.
Previous Practices to Keep Working On
- Schedule time to take the class. You’ll get more out of class if you watch the video and plan to do the practices at the same time each week. What time is that for you?
- Find a buddy or a group. If this is something that you want to do, but haven’t found someone yet, don’t give up! Use the comment section to rally support from others, and to find people near you.
Join the Discussion
- How have the first few weeks of the Class been for you? What is working? What isn’t?
- Did you add some blissful activities into your week last week? Tell us about them!
Please post your response in the comment section. Be sure to subscribe to the comments so you can see what other participants are talking about, and so that you can offer your suggestions.
Your Weekly Thought
Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. In order to have what you want, you must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do.” –Margaret Young, paraphrased
Have a great week, everyone!
