Clean out a drawer today. (Perhaps that one that drives you crazy every time you open it?)

Organization can be grouped with personal cleanliness, a state with clear psychological benefits. We talk about washing away our sins, wiping the slate clean, and psychologists study the “Macbeth effect”: Washing your hands seems to “scrub away mental turmoil,” according to University of Michigan psychologist Spike Lee.

Take Action:  Inside of sighing (or screaming) with frustration when, once again, you can’t find the Scotch tape you think might be in that junk drawer, clean out the drawer. If you don’t have time for that, make your bed today. Giving ourselves a bit of order can give us more than a bit of happiness.

Join the Discussion: How do you feel after you tackle the clutter? Share in the comments below.

Express gratitude to the one you love.

Research shows that gratitude is one of the most powerful — and efficient — ways to strengthen a romantic relationship (or any relationship, for that matter). Gratitude is relationship-strengthening because it requires us to see how we’ve been supported and cared for by other people.

Take Action: Celebrate the one you love by detailing all the things that you appreciate about him or her. Cut out a dozen paper hearts, and write one thing for which you are grateful on each.

Join the Discussion: How do you show gratitude to the love of your life? Share in the comments below.

Turn off your cell phone — really and truly, totally off — for several hours today.

Technology can be addictive, and it can change the core of who we are as people. Researchers believe that when we are over-connected to technology (including our email, the Internet, and our cell phones) we can become more impatient, impulsive, forgetful — and even more self-centered. These qualities do not make us happier people or better parents.

Disconnecting from technology can help us reconnect with who we really are, what is truly important to us, and what really makes us happy.

Take Action: This week, designate time to fully unplug. Perhaps you unplug during dinner, or from 9:00 pm to 9:00 am.

Join the Discussion: When will you disconnect?

While I’ve long known about the neurological benefits of meditation, it wasn’t until I watched Jill Bolte Taylor’s TED talk that I started thinking about how many of the benefits of meditation come from quieting the verbal part of our brains.

To be honest, silence is not a state I naturally seek. I’m extroverted. I’m loud. I love parties and big families and people. And as an avid reader and professional writer, I tend to fear — not cultivate — a loss of words.

But reading nobel prize-winner Daniel Kahneman’s new book Thinking, Fast and Slow got me (you guessed it) thinking a little more about this. That noisy verbal part of our brains is slow, processing only about 40 bits of information per second. The creative, intuitive, non-verbal brain processes about 11 million bits per second. Knowing this, I’ve been motivated to try and better harness the power of my non-verbal brain.

According to Martha Beck — Harvard sociologist turned life coach, and one of my personal heros — practicing what she calls “deep wordlessness” is just the ticket. Here’s what she writes about wordlessness in her most recent book Finding Your Way in a Wild New World:

To master Wordlessness…you must unlearn almost everything you were taught in school about what it means to be intelligent. The sharp focus you were told to sustain is actually a limiting, stressful, narrow attention field — something animals only using the the moment of ‘fight or flight.’ Dropping into Wordlessness moves the brain into its ‘rest and relax’ state.”

I’ve been practicing Beck’s techniques for cultivating worldlessness, and though it doesn’t come easily to me, I’m finding it well worth the effort.

Take Action: Beck’s book is loaded with literally dozens of techniques for activating our non-verbal brains. Even though the book is probably a little too woo-woo for most of my readers — it really challenges most of our Western assumptions about intelligence — it is also one of the most practical guides to happiness I’ve found.

The easiest of Beck’s practices for dropping into wordlessness (for me) is simply to follow your own bloodstream. You can try it by focusing your attention on your heart in the space between breaths: after you exhale deeply, pause your breathing and find the feeling of your heart beating. Take another breath while following the sensation of your heart beat. Once you’re following your heart beat, see if you can feel your circulatory system elsewhere, in your ears or toes or hands, your head and organs, or your entire body. Hang out for a while in this meditative state.

Join the discussion: What do you think?!

Are you feeling starved for time? Impatient?

New research shows that experiencing awe can make us feel more satisfied with our lives, more patient, more willing to help others, and — importantly, in our crazy busy lives — as though we have time to spare. 

Awe is one of those quiet positive emotions we don’t tend to think much about. Researchers describe it as that “feeling we get when we come across something so strikingly vast in number, scope, or complexity that it alters the way we understand the world,” as Stacey Kennelly explains in this Greater Good article about awe.

Take Action: Make time to expose yourself to something truly awesome. Visit a spectacular  beach or vista point. Watch a sunset or sunrise, or hold a new baby, or watch a nature video (like this one). 

Join the discussion: What place or experience makes you awe-struck? Share in the comments here!

When was the last time someone else’s happiness became your own?

Last weekend I was at a fundraiser where several musicians were playing live. I was close enough to the guitar player, Jack, to be able to watch his expressions while I listened to him play. As I watched, I noticed myself grinning right along with Jack. He was totally in the moment, happiness flowing through him and his instrument, sheer bliss radiating from his face.

I realized that as I paid attention to Jack’s joy, my own emotions were mirroring his: I was feeling an expansive happiness. This is a phenomena my mentor James Baraz calls “vicarious joy,” and it is something that is easy to cultivate in our everyday lives.

Take Action: Watch for other people’s positive emotions. Who around you is feeling deep gratitude, or giddy happiness, or profound compassion? Let yourself “catch” their emotions, and take in the good feelings that occur in your own body as a result.  Even the joy of a dog can be contagious; my children frequently fall to the ground giggling as they watch our friends’ labrador play in the park.

Join the discussion: What is your favorite source of vicarious joy?  Share in the comments below!

Here are this year’s Happiness Matters Podcasts — Rona and I are going to take a break from recording these podcasts for a little while while I work on another book. If you’ve just found this podcast, we encourage you to start at the beginning—there are over a hundred episodes on a wide range of topics. And if you’ve been listening for years, THANK YOU—from the bottom of our hearts. This podcast has been rewarding for us both because of listeners like you!

Fostering Creativity in Kids

We often think of creativity as being a personality trait rather than a skill that we can foster in our children. Which is it, really? Rona and I discuss how we can foster the ability to innovate in our kids—and why we might want to do this.

Looking for a Preschool?

It’s that time of year, when many parents are looking at preschools and try to make what is for some a very difficult decision. Rona and I discuss different preschool philosophies, and how to choose what is right for your child.

Fighting a lot?

Most spouses fight, but many do not know how to make-up in a way that repairs the relationship. Rona gives us a crash course in regaining trust and intimacy with a partner after we’ve been fighting.

Gratitude for Lovers

Whether or not you are a romantic person, and whether or not you like Valentine’s Day, here’s my favorite romantic thing to do.

How Hectic Are Your Mornings?

Rona and I are frequently asked how parents and caregivers can make morning routines go more smoothly. It’s pretty common to have a lot of stress, and even yelling, as we try to herd our children out the door for school or daycare. Rona reviews her best tips for making mornings more calm and less trying for everyone.

Making Sleep a Priority

Did you know how much children sleep affects how smart, creative, attentive, and happy they are—as well as how much they weigh?  Note: This recording was slightly affected by a software problem; please forgive the few “skips” you may detect.

Making New Year’s Resolutions?

What would you like to change in the New Year? What would your kids like to change? Making New Year’s resolutions can be a fun—and productive—family activity.

Check out my podcast Happiness Matters with Rona Renner either here on the Greater Good website, or here on iTunes. Happy listening!

Yesterday, someone asked my daughter if her mother (that would be me) is happy all the time. My girl threw her head back, guffawed, and said, “I don’t even think she wants to be happy all the time.”

Darn straight, I don’t.

So many of us confuse momentary pleasure or gratification — a new pair of shoes, or a particularly delicious meal — with what makes life joyful over the long haul. It isn’t that I don’t appreciate the fun of new shoes or the satisfaction of a great dinner, but a happy life really isn’t simply a series of such pleasurable moments strung together.

Life can gain depth and meaning from difficulty. When we are anxious, we can learn how to soothe ourselves — something we couldn’t learn if we felt calm and content. Anger gives us a unique opportunity to practice forgiveness in a way that really means something. When we are afraid, we can develop courage. In the face of challenge, we have the opportunity to strengthen our grit. After a long bout of missing someone or something, we tend to feel profound gratitude to have them back in our lives.

Self-soothing, forgiveness, gratitude, courage, grit — this is the stuff of a happy life. For this reason, I try to see the difficulties in my life for what they really are: opportunities for growth and meaning in the future.

Take Action: This week, embrace a difficulty in your life with acceptance and self-compassion. What is this challenge helping you learn? How are you growing because of this difficult situation?

Join the Discussion: Inspire others by commenting below on a time in your life when a difficulty lead to positive growth (or even joy!).